Posts in : 2010 March
Monsters vs. Aliens may have been our favorite FMN of the entire year. Not because of the movie (which was fun) but because we got to watch it with our favorite Birrs. We were in Spokane to celebrate Grandpa Birr's 60th birthday and I brought along some movie night supplies. You can't watch a movie with no props or treats. That's just crazy talk!
Thankfully, since the movie had recently been released on DVD there were all sorts of Monsters vs. Aliens props to choose from. I found some eye ball candy during Halloween which made perfect "Bob" treats when paired with blue jello. I also found coloring books at Michael's, and would you believe that Carl's Jr. had toys that coordinated? (If you ask nicely they will sell you the toys without the meals.) It's like all the stars were aligned for us.
My dear friend Heather posted this on her blog and it was just too good not to share. Be sure to put down your drink before you read this. Happy Monday!
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall..
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom , no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't – so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, ( Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday – the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT .. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper – not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'
By this time, the automatic sensor on th e back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms. It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
Family Movie Night and Halloween really should go hand in hand, at least when you have little ones that don't go trick-or-treating for hours. The sun came out just long enough for us to trick-or-treat around the block, which was plenty of time. Zoë got to see her friends and we were able to get home in time to hand out candy to our visitors. The movie was kind of a no-brainer considering our Halloween costumes: The Scooby Gang. Zoë chose Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders on streaming Netflix and we enjoyed Halloweenies (get it?) and Scooby Snacks while we watched the movie and waited for trick-or-treaters.
I realize that I am completely biased, but I didn't think Eden could be any cuter than she was. Apparently I was wrong. Look at her in her teeny little glasses! I could just eat her up. She got them yesterday and has been very good about wearing them. She has taken them off a few times, but that is to be expected. In a few days they will seem like second nature.
I went all out for Toy Story movie night. You can't tell from looking at the pictures because we were having so much fun that I almost forgot to take any! Has that ever happened to you? We had Zoë's husband and the in-laws over for dinner and a movie. We adore their family. It was complete chaos with three kids running around and two babies. Fun, loud chaos.
I bought all sorts of Toy Story props before hand. We had a Buzz Lightyear table cloth and coordinating plates, napkins, etc. I stuck stars all over the house and leading down to the rec room where we watched the movie. I also bought a giant Mr. Potato Head at Costco that was filled with two smaller potato heads and accessories that the kids played with during the movie. I had the cupcakes made at the store and topped them with small Toy Story toys that the kids played with after they ate their treats. We definitely need to invite more friends over to experience Family Movie Night, Birr style.